Eat. Pray. Love.

I have debated about telling anyone about this, because everyone is going to go crazy and I don’t know that I have the strength to explain it to everyone.  I am going back home to Indiana.  For a few weeks.  I don’t have a definite arrival date and I don’t know how long I’ll stay.  But I am going/coming.

I am not leaving Mark.  We are not having problems.  I am not suicidal or broke.  While not rich, I’d like to sort out some employer-Nick issues that I have before embarking on the next leg of my occupational journey.  Which may or may not include temping.  Mark is a PhD candidate that doesn’t need me in his face every second of the day, chit-chatting and spending the imaginary lottery we have not won, because we never buy a ticket.  (You have to play to win.)

I also may get back to my homeland and realize that I feel trapped and suffocated within a week and pack right back up and head right back to CO.  I’m going to work on my resume, cover-letters and an exercise regime that I can continue at home.  I plan on spending time with my remaining grandmother to learn how to crochet those towels that hang from your cabinet drawer pulls.  I’m going to trap-shooting with my father.  I am also going to organize my best friend’s life in a way that is comfortable and easy for her to manage, all while improving my own self-awareness and hanging pictures on her bare walls.  I will try to talk to my sister.  I cannot guarantee that I won’t put Shaken-Adult Syndrome on the ICD-9 charts for future psychologists to reference, but I’ll try.  I’m going to sort out my old blog and import entries from there that are suitable for the book that I’ll never get around to writing, but that everyone and their dog should still promise to buy.

I do not plan on getting in trouble or reconnecting with every, single solitary person I’ve left.  I would like to meet some of them to catch up and drink wine until my teeth are blue.

I escaped from IN after 36 years of torment and 2 previous failed attempts.  (It’s like the Godfather III or the Black Hole of the Midwest.)  I think that it’s a great place to be from and a great place to raise a family.  I do not now, nor will I ever want children.  I love other people’s, but I am too old, selfish and self-serving to care for another human being with unconditional love.  If you’ve only ever lived in IN, you may not know that there are different places out there.  Better places for other people who may not be you but are me.

I wanted to clear this up, because I don’t give a shit if everyone and their dog tells you different, this is the truth.  In 2 weeks it may not be, but as of this second?  It is.  Feel free to email me and ask me questions about this.  I’ll gladly answer them.  I’ll most likely invite you to dinner and offer to pay just to break free from the internetless of my parents cold, damp basement.  To my knowledge, there is only one coffee shop in Huntington and I think they close at three in the afternoon, just in time for me to get out of bed.

See y’all soon.